A Valentine story celebrating Lewis and Elizabeth Bremer

A while ago I reached out to clients Lewis and Elizabeth Bremer to find out if they’d be interested in sharing their interests and life story in our Blog.  They are always so interested in your Blog stories and supportive of what we share together that I couldn't help but hope they’d say yes.  And they did!  So fast forward to late last month when I received one of the most intricate and fascinating Blogs yet.   If I had known what superb writers they were and just how much they had to share, I probably would have recommended two separate Blogs.   However, when you read this, you’ll see that they are so intertwined in each other’s lives, it would have been painful to separate the stories they have to share.

Lewis and Elizabeth in Hawaii, July, 2005.

The Bremers are remarkable not only because of who they are and how they came together as a couple and have grown together as a tight knit family, but also because of the unusual hobbies they enjoy and how they have transitioned into full retirement at fairly young ages ---  and yet are busier now than when they were working full time and raising a daughter! 

The stories we share of how we are each uniquely and culturally moving into our “retirement” years continues to inspire me to offer the Blog as a forum for all of us to stretch our minds, think about the possibilities, and reach out to each other directly for ideas, shared values and opportunities.  When colleagues ask me to describe our clients, as if you all fall into some magic category, I just have to explain that each of you is just like a snowflake --- unique, no two the same.  But the commonality is that you are all smart, busy individuals with intense and exciting ideas.  It continues to be my privilege and joy to share you with each other --- not only to help shape other’s paths but to inspire us all to perhaps follow a path we might otherwise have missed. I am so pleased that Lewis and Elizabeth wrote such a remarkable story for us.   Enjoy!

Marilyn and I have had the privilege of working for you these many years now.  Our daughters even rode at the same barn in Lafayette when they were younger!  

Anne Bremer at the barn, June, 2000.

But let’s reach back even further and please share with us a bit about your youngest years. Where were you each born and raised?  What were your childhoods like and who were your biggest influences?  And of course, when, where and how did you meet each other?

Elizabeth:  There’s a song refrain that partly goes, “California, with your beauty like the face of a queen, and your legend like a city of gold…” which captures my feelings about the many environments of my home state.  I was raised a So Cal (LA County) beach cities girl.  I loved the story that my parents, who were married in Connecticut, honeymooned in California, explored both the San Francisco and LA areas, and only returned to Connecticut to pack up the Plymouth and drive out to stay.  They rented an apartment on the Strand in Hermosa Beach, and the story is that my mother could keep an eye on my older sister and me in our playpen on the beach from the apartment window.  (In the photo, that’s me sitting on the sand). Within another couple of years, they bought a house, but we could easily walk a straight mile to the beach across parks and between homes, which our small gang of six siblings and friends did often over the years. The beach defined childhood in many ways—fond memories of annual grunion hunts, daily excursions with dad to the beach after work, gathering on the sand to ooh and ahh at fireworks over the water when we didn’t watch from the living room window, and biking for miles from Redondo to Manhattan on the strand.  I have lived away from ocean sunsets for most of my adulthood, but always feel deeply nourished by experiencing them when I can.  Our So Cal backyard also included visits to the desert, where a family friend had a cabin, and excursions to Disneyland in all seasons – I liked Christmastime the best!   But trees and rivers became bigger influences.  As the metropolis expanded toward the beach cities, my parents took us to the mountains for family vacations; camping, hiking, and fishing in the Sierra and foothills.  They even tried moving to Grass Valley, and I had a memorable junior-high year in gold country.  By the time I was graduating from high school and heading for the redwoods of UC Santa Cruz, my parents finally settled on moving the rest of the family to the Puget Sound area of Washington State.  We remain spread from there on down to Huntington Beach.

Elizabeth on the sand at Hermosa Beach, 1954.

My parents were certainly big influences for me.  In particular, I became very handy with skills and tools for building and fixing things—plumbing, electrical work, auto repair, other construction skills, and gardening by working alongside my father on these things.  First I was a “go-fer” and later I was a doer.  I've used all those skills throughout life.  Both my parents were excellent cooks, and I have always enjoyed cooking and creating dishes.

But the influences of childhood are complex, eh?  As a responsible second of seven I enjoyed being second-parent to my two youngest sisters and remember walking home during grade school lunch to feed the baby, and later on cooking family meals when both parents worked.  I am fortunate that personal traumas were mild in general, but I was sensitive and observant so those I experienced or witnessed were powerful influences.  Family life could be chronically chaotic and included tempers and “strict” discipline.  Two near-drownings brought me to treasure life and feel its fragility. Asthma was a partner into mid-adulthood that could be debilitating, embarrassing, and feel life-threatening, but alternately could shield me from unwelcome engagement. I witnessed mental illness and developmental disabilities in others close to me, and appreciated the challenges and triumphs they could engender. My youngest brother was born with spina-bifida and hydrocephalus and lived most of his 10 years in a state hospital – he influenced a couple of my later work and volunteer choices.  A succession of family pets introduced animal life and death but lacked any consistent attachment or loyalty. The wider world came through ‘50s and ‘60s television entertainment—cartoons, cowboys, Lassie, rascals, suburban families, Jack Benny, Ed Sullivan, Laugh-In; and news of strife and tragedies close to home or heart—Watts Riots, JFK, RFK, MLK, Vietnam body counts and protests. I had teachers and family friends who really saw me, and who modeled survivorship and style. I knew a couple of nuns and priests as people.  And Our Lady of Guadalupe was always there to hear or ignore prayers.  I had good, trustworthy friends.  From early on I had a love of seeing and making art.  In high school I had drama, dance, art, the classics, science lab, tennis, track and field, and as many clubs as I could get to the meetings of (I was Latin Club president—alas, there’s no photo of me in my golden toga!).  I always had hopes and visions of futures I could create.

A couple of longer vacations stand out as influential.  When I was five, I joined my dad, a couple of his friends, and a teenage boy who was like a cousin on a short trip to Tijuana.  I distinctly remember the sights and sounds, especially visiting a family living outdoors in a lean-to arrangement and handing my soda over to a girl about my age.  The other vacation was a cross-country summer road trip when I was in high school.  It was my mom and six kids because it was for a month or so and dad had to work.  We spent a week or so with relatives on the east coast, and the rest of the time driving and camping.  We took a southern route on the way there, and northern on the way back.  I don’t know how my mom did it—I think just barely—but we had a wild, wonderful time and visited so many parks and landmarks!

Finally, I can’t leave out my Polish ancestry.  This is from my Dad’s side, but my mom’s ancestry is eastern European, as well—from Hungary and Slovakia.  All my grandparents immigrated through Ellis Island in the late 1800’s to early 1900’s.  My dad spoke some Polish, we attended Polish picnics and the Polish church in L.A. for Easter rituals—learning and dancing the polka along the way.  All our holidays included Polish foods and rituals.  Other dishes were staples that we made and enjoyed often: cabbage rolls, kielbasa, pierogi, donuts and many cakes!  There was another Polish family about the same size as ours who were like relatives.  We shared camping trips and many sleepovers.  I still celebrate a little bit of Polish culture, but not as much as I’d like.

The big gap between those younger years and when Lewis and I met will be somewhat filled in by subsequent answers.  So to jump ahead:  When I went to graduate school at JFK University (in Orinda at the time) I looked for a job on campus to get the benefit of a staff tuition-waiver.  I landed in the School of Management as an office assistant, and Lewis was both faculty and a student advisor there.  We dated once during my first year, but it wasn't until a year or so later that we began dating more steadily and soon discovered we had found our life partners.  

Our wedding in Berkeley, 1989.

Now for Lewis:   I was born in Salem, New Jersey and lived my first ten years near Swarthmore College in a suburb of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  My immigrant ancestor Johan Ludwig “Lewis” Bremer had arrived from Germany in 1803 and started a tobacco business in Philadelphia that was carried on by his sons and thrived for several more generations.  Many of his descendants were named after him.  In fact, if not for a Joseph Bremer thrown into the mix a few generations ago, I might have been Lewis VI, instead of just Lewis IV!   My grandfather, Lewis Bremer, Jr was the last family member to have any connection with the tobacco business, and I was one of the last of the Bremers to leave the Philadelphia area.  As a ten-year old I moved to Ojai in southern California when my mother remarried, forming a new family of six.  I attended fifth through twelfth grades in school there in Ojai.

My step-father was Richard G. Hubler, a writer, who wrote (among other things) Ronald Reagan’s first “autobiography," Where’s the Rest of Me, which has since been republished as Ronald Reagan: the Early Years.  It’s impressive that Richard wrote about the life of the president-to-be, some 30 other books, as well as many scripts, plays, poetry, etc., but the fact is that Richard was not a commercial success.  I remember my family living a very fiscally conservative lifestyle in those early years.  I can picture my mother darning holes in our socks and ironing patches on our jeans.

The person that had the greatest influence on me was my mother’s father, Roy G. Clough.  He studied chemistry and then went to work for a little smokeless powder company before World War I.  With the war came a huge demand for munitions and then other chemicals.  The little company grew into the giant that today we call DuPont.  My grandfather worked for DuPont until his retirement.  He was an astute businessman and he always gave me good advice.  Beyond that, he paid for my college education, a gift for which I will always be grateful.

R.G. Clough in a DuPont chemistry lab, circa 1911.

I first came to the San Francisco Bay Area in 1962 to attend Cal.  I graduated with a degree in Civil Engineering in 1966.  After graduation I applied for a commission in the Navy, and in the meantime took a trip to Europe.  That summer my mother sent me a telegram which informed me that my application was denied.  In order to continue my student deferment and to improve my prospects for employment in 1968 I added an MBA from Armstrong College in Berkeley.  But a funny thing happened on the way toward that business degree.  I saw that some graduate students were given teaching fellowships and allowed to teach courses, and so I asked the Dean of Instruction if I could as well.  He noticed my math background from studying engineering and asked if I’d like to teach “Mathematics for Managers."  That class changed everything for me. After that first experience of teaching I no longer wanted to be an engineer or to enter into business, I just wanted to teach.  Thus began a 30-year career of college level teaching. But before that teaching career, I had to deal with military service.

By 1968, the Vietnam war was still raging, and my student deferment was about to expire.  I thought: “Millions of people have gone through the Army.  How bad could it be?”  And so I enlisted.  Well, I got stress fractures in both my knees.  I could let my knees heal, or I could withdraw my application for Officer Candidate School (a four year commitment) and instead sign up for “the draft” (a two year commitment).  I chose the draft.  Since the Army had already invested time and money on a security clearance for me, they sent me to Signal School—a plum assignment.  There were 5,000 soldiers in my graduating class from the Signal School at Fort Gordon, Augusta, Georgia.  4,998 of them were sent directly to Vietnam.  This other guy and I were assigned to stay at Fort Gordon as part of the signal company that taught student officers. On graduation, they were sent to Vietnam.  I was eventually appointed the Training and Education NCO for the company.  The highlight of that assignment was that I could get myself out three months early (the maximum time!) to get a minor in economics. So I returned, finished the minor, and began teaching.

Lewis in the 385th Signal Company, Fort Gordon, GA, 1970.

Elizabeth and I met in the mid 1980’s when she was a graduate student at the Orinda campus of JFK University.  She was working in the office of the School of Management to support her studies for a Masters degree in Psychology.  At that time I was teaching the courses Statistics and Quantitative Analysis for MBA students in the School of Management.  I also counseled potential students for admission. Elizabeth and I frequently saw each other in the School of Management office, and eventually we started dating.  We married in 1989.
       
Elizabeth, it’s ladies first, so please tell us about your career path.  When we first met, your focus was on counseling and you were working for a small non-profit firm (did you help found it?) in Oakland as a Marriage and Family Therapist.  How did this evolve?  

I was working for Parental Stress Service, which was eventually renamed Family Paths.  I didn’t help found it, but I helped grow it.  It was founded in 1972 and was quite small when I started there as an intern in 1992.

My career as a LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) evolved through a combination of interests and happenstance that led me to start graduate school ten years after receiving my BA.  When I went to undergraduate college (at UC Santa Cruz) immediately after high school, I planned to become a medical doctor.  My father had always introduced my sister and me as, “my daughters, the future doctors."  It was an interest I had shown since requesting a doctor’s kit at age four, which I got and thoroughly enjoyed.  (Ironically, my dad was not supportive of me moving away from home for college, but he allowed me to orchestrate and finance it on my own).  In college I struggled with the rigors of chemistry and calculus, and became more interested in broader liberal arts studies in philosophy, religion, modern dance, poetry and psychology.  I majored in psychology, having broadly explored social, organizational, transpersonal, developmental and abnormal psychology.  I didn't have a specific career focus or resources for graduate school, so after working for a year in a group home for youth with developmental disabilities, I looked into pursuing a dream I’d had since high school of joining Peace Corps.

Peace Corps was only taking post-grads or professionals at the time, but I was eligible for VISTA service.  I signed on with a brand new non-profit organization in Boise, Idaho, which was created to implement protection and advocacy, statewide, for people with developmental disabilities under the new federal Americans with Disabilities Act.  I stayed with the organization through my VISTA year and for another year or so after.  The experience became a foundation for much that is still current in my personal life and much that carried through my career development.  My supervisor became an important mentor and lifelong friend (who turned 95 last year!). I received excellent training, even traveling out of state to meet with experts in developmental disabilities advocacy or to attend workshops as a community organizer. I helped to develop the organization, hiring, training and supervising staff; developing programs, providing direct advocacy for individuals and groups, and consulting with businesses.  I even used my creativity, and developed graphic arts skills.

With natural transitions in the organization, and the revival of a relationship I’d left in Santa Cruz, I took the opportunity to return there.  I found work as a classroom aide for grades K-3 under Title I special education funding, and I still count it as one of my best-loved jobs.  However, I stayed only for a school year and a summer, then had to look for a higher-paying job.  I would have gone right to school in Special Ed then, if I could have afforded it.

I landed in another position that provided great learning and satisfaction, and more foundation for the future. The position was coordinating housing and residential life at one of the UC Santa Cruz colleges—my alma-mater.  I focused on training and supervising residence life staff and creating a high quality on-campus apartment living environment.  I stayed in this position for nearly eight years, gaining many administrative, programmatic, managerial and creative skills.  Eventually, I again felt the interest and opportunity for further career development.  I worked with a career counselor to investigate the reality of following interests in special education, psychotherapy, or graphic arts, and decided to apply to programs in Expressive Arts Therapy.

JFK University came through with a great program and a job that provided a tuition waiver.  I envisioned eventually working in private practice.  I already had a background in Jungian perspectives, movement and art, into which I incorporated new professional learning.  Internships gave me experience in clinic, college, and private practice settings. Our daughter was born shortly after I graduated, when I still had years of intern hours to complete before I could take the licensing exam, and I strongly believed in close parenting during the early years.  I realized that a clinic setting would provide me the most efficient way to gain direct experience and applied with Parental Stress Service in Oakland, an organization focused on family support and child abuse prevention which had been highly recommended.  As a new mom, it was fabulous to be in that environment, and my marriage provided the financial ability for me to be a part-time unpaid intern.  I continued to treasure the organization’s work and the working environment, and when the right position opened I applied and was hired.

The rest of my career developed there, as PSS grew from a small group of under 30 staff and more volunteers, to an organization of around 80 staff and a leader in child and family mental health services in Alameda County.  We eventually renamed ourselves Family Paths to depict the spectrum of family services provided.  I worked part-time until our daughter started elementary school, and by the time I completed my internship hours and passed the licensure exam, I was already moving into supervision and management positions within the agency.  For many years before I retired from Family Paths, I managed the Family Support Program which includes the 24-hour parent support hotline—the originating focal point of the agency that provides telephone counseling, crisis intervention and resources.    

Elizabeth, you are also extremely community based and charitably minded. You've been everything from a Girl Scout Troop Leader to a presenter of seminars “for successful living” through the Guild for Psychological Studies. Can you please tell us more about them?  What is their mission and what is your current role with the organization?  

I guess I've always been interested in helping with well-being, especially of individuals and human communities, but also of the world as a whole.  I've landed in community-based or educational settings for almost all my volunteer and paid activities, always by way of pursuing a personal interest.  With Girl Scouts, it started when several moms wanted to create a troop for our daughters, and became so rewarding to see the girls through twelve years of fun and growth.

Elizabeth and Anne at a Brownies meeting and Elizabeth teaching pottery to a Cadette Girl Scout, October, 2005.

My history with the Guild for Psychological Studies is a story in itself.  I first participated in a 17-day residential seminar when I was 24, having learned of the Guild from my supervisor when I was a VISTA in Idaho.  The organization’s work has remained important to me since then.  It influenced my choice of a career in psychotherapy and my master’s thesis research on forgiveness and expressive arts.

The Guild’s Mission: Guild seminars offer a way of psychological and spiritual transformation that inspires individuals to live their purpose, expand consciousness, and discover and create meaning in their lives and community.

The Guild’s Vision: The Guild envisions a world in which the significance of each person’s truth, authority and inspired purpose finds fulfillment in life and community.

The Guild was founded in 1956 and seminars have been offered in one-day, weekend, week-long and longer formats, with typically 15–25 participants.  Seminar topics are wide-ranging, but always related to the human desire to discover meaning and live with vitality and purpose.  Two of the Guild’s philosophical foundations are the depth psychology of C.G. Jung, and a psychological-historical perspective on the life and teachings of Jesus in the gospel records.  The tools of analytical psychology and historical research invite individuals to attempt to consider what Jesus may have been experiencing and teaching as far as it is possible to discern by unwrapping the Christian overlay.  The process reflects a person whose seeking, understandings, and teachings reveal a way toward living in wholeness beyond rigid boundaries, which is relevant to those of us seeking to live from the depths of wholeness today. The process also helps bring objectivity to some of society’s deeply embedded perspectives, and can open us individually to our own truths and to broader truths, and it strengthens our ability to make life choices.

Adding to that foundation, texts from a wide range of genres—psychology, spirituality, mythology, poetry, plays, science, history, etc. provide material through which to explore our experiences, emotions, thoughts, dreams and choices in a community environment with others.  Open-ended questions help to guide discussions and explorations so that, through experiencing, listening and sharing, each person can reach their own truth, at their own pace. Each seminar provides a retreat environment for reflection and exploration through a variety of means including talk, enjoying nature, creativity with art materials, bodywork and movement, listening to music, etc.

The Guild is important to me for what I've learned, but more than that for whom I've become and continue to become.  The learning and personal development supported by Guild seminars give me a continuously updated road map for living—one that helps me be present to myself and my environment, and access my own best guidance in any moment—informed by the best awareness of myself and the broader world that I can manage.  This is a continuous life journey. It’s ironically delightful that the Guild’s initials are GPS!

There are many programs and practices through which a person can develop their awareness and abilities for conscious living. I value the Guild’s methods of using open questions which encourage reflection and objectivity; and the inclusion of materials and approaches that help unpack and expand our acculturated perspectives, including the deeply embedded assumptions that Christianity has institutionalized in western society.  The work can help people develop the means to expand consciousness, access personal truth, and make courageous and healthful choices on behalf of ourselves and others.

Through all these years, I have participated in many seminars, cooked for many seminars, served as a member of the board, and helped with presenting some seminars as an art-resource or other support staff.  I’m currently Secretary of the Board, as I have been for the past six years.  More information about the Guild and current programs can be found at www.guildsf.org.

Okay, Lewis, your turn!  When we first met, you were a College Professor. Where were you teaching and what were your subject matters?

As I indicated above, I started teaching mathematics in 1968.  I taught at Armstrong College, then JFK University, and Golden Gate University (GGU).  Most of my classes were designed for business students.  A few of the courses that I taught were for undergraduate students, but most of my courses were directed toward graduate students, including students in the Executive MBA program at GGU.  My usual schedule included courses in algebra, statistics, and quantitative methods (aka management science).  Over the years JFKU and GGU offered classes throughout the Bay Area to make education more accessible to working students.  While I mostly taught classes in Orinda and San Francisco (the two main campuses for JFKU and GGU, respectively) I also taught at Vallejo (California Maritime Academy), Walnut Creek, Livermore (Triad) and San Ramon (AT&T).

In 1988, I was surprised to be asked to teach two Quantitative Methods classes for Golden Gate University’s Executive MBA program in Southeast Asia—one in Singapore and one in Kuala Lumpor.  My initial reluctance ebbed when I learned that all the courses were taught in English and that I would be compensated for food and housing.  To make the schedule work I had to take time off from JFKU, but that gave me time to travel through Australia and New Zealand on the way home.

Shortly after we first began working together, Lewis, you retired, and did what many husbands would love to do:  stay home full time and raise your daughter.   I have to ask you if even in these times, did you take much joking or flak from colleagues or friends about being a “kept man” or a “stay at home Dad?”  What made you decide it was time to focus on family first?  Was it hard to walk away from such an intense, important and admired career path?

It’s true that I did eventually become a stay at home dad, but that status evolved slowly and naturally out of the different career paths that Elizabeth and I had.  My working hours were not so much the hours I spent teaching in the classroom, but rather the hours spent on preparation and correcting of homework and exams at home.  Furthermore, many of my classes were at night while Elizabeth worked during the day.  So with a little juggling (sometimes passing our daughter Anne off at a BART station!) we were able to have at least one parent with her all the time.

Lewis reading to Anne, 1994.

As the years passed, Elizabeth got busier, while some of my course offerings got moved out to different departments leaving fewer classes for me to choose from.  With that reduction of my teaching load I just decided to retire.  Retiring meant that I was available to chauffeur Anne to school, swimming, horseback riding, soccer, Irish dance, girl scouts, theatre, piano, and so on.  In addition, I did most of the family grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, and laundry.  I loved having the time with Anne, and I never got any flak from others about being “Mr. Mom," or anything like that.  In fact, most of my family, friends, and even acquaintances let me know how lucky they thought I was to be able to spend so much time with Anne.  Now that she is about to embark on her own life I realize even more how blessed I am to have been able to spend those years with her.  (There I am working on the camel suit that starred in a movie she made and later became a hit at college Halloween parties).  

Lewis making the camel costume for Anne's movie, Fall, 2009.

You both have such fascinating passions.  Now that you are both fully retired, it’s been such fun to hear about your adventures as you have really been able to pursue them fully.  Lewis, you are very involved in Genealogy, and in fact have studied it intently.  How did you become so interested, where have you studied, and do you help others in their searches?  What sites do you recommend for those interested in pursuing their own family histories?

My main hobby is genealogy.  My interest in family history started with Anne’s birth and it increased as the result of a subsequent family reunion.  I volunteered to see what I could find out about our family history and bring a tree to the reunion.  I fully expected that I would get stumped after four or five generations, then I’d have to find a new hobby.  What I didn't realize at the time is that for every generation you manage to go back in time the number of ancestors doubles!   I now have some lines back more than 40 generations.  The earliest ancestor that I have found to date is Afranius Syagrius, a Gallo-Roman Consul living in 380 CE. More recent ancestors include Gangor Rolf (aka “Rollo” the Viking, died 929 CE), Charlemagne  (747-814),  Rodrigo Diaz (“El Cid”, c1042-1099),  William (“the Conquerer”, 1027-1087), and dozens of kings and queens representing most of the regions of Europe.

Anne and Lewis following the trail of El Cid near Burgos, Spain, July 2011.

For anyone interested in finding his or her own ancestry I would recommend starting with a visit to the Family History Center of the Church of Latter Day Saints in Oakland.  You do not have to be a Mormon to take advantage of their extensive resources.  The California Genealogical Society in Oakland has one day a month when non-members can use their library free of charge.  Call them for details. You may also get much information from online sources.  One free source is the LDS site www.familysearch.org. Another is www.worldconnect.com.  You may want to subscribe to a paid site like www.ancestry.com.  I would also simply try Googling your ancestors’ names.  But remember the reality is that only a small percentage of family history data is available online.  Seek out libraries and archives like the Sutro library in San Francisco and the National Archives in San Bruno.

I discovered these portraits of two of my earliest American ancestors (Johan Ludwig Bremer, 1797-1866 and Anna Catharina Scheuermann, 1801-1887) when I contacted the children’s home they founded.

Lewis' ancestors, Johan Ludwig Bremer, 1797-1866 and Catharina Scheurmann, 1801-1887.

Elizabeth, you belong to a group that studies the art and culture of North Western Native Americans. Since my own mother was an ardent student of Southwest Native Americans, I know first hand how absorbing the study of these remarkable native peoples can be.  Most recently last spring you had planned a three week trip to Ketchikan, Alaska, to study basket weaving at the cultural center there.  And I believe you have had another trip planned to a remote part of Vancouver Island.  What is the name of the organization you belong to and how did this field become of interest to you and such a passion?  What further explorations and studies do you have planned?  

We are an informal group composed of a handful of similarly-interested seekers.  We have grown together over the past 6-8 years through our ongoing studies, monthly meetings and travel-studies.  We create curriculum together and share the presenting, but one of our members is the main founder and central coordinator of our little group. She has been studying related material for many years, and has focused on Pacific Northwest native culture studies for over 20 years. She has many friends within the PNW native culture groups who have shared culture and opened doors for our studies. Most of our group of seven women knew each other through the Guild for Psychological Studies, and networking contacts brought us together around this interest.  Each of us had our own background or initial interest in the culture before landing in our group.  We call ourselves the Raven Forum, or use the name given to us by a friend up north during one of our first study trips—Ravenwalkers.

My interest started with art, specifically a photo I saw in passing of Bill Reid’s Raven and The First Men sculpture. This was nearly 30 years ago. It just really grabbed my attention, but I couldn’t pursue that at the time. Several years later, Lewis and I happened to visit the Museum of Anthropology at UBC in Vancouver, Canada, and I was shocked to turn a corner and see this huge, magnificent carving in person. I had never had any idea of its location, size or that it was a wood carving.  Then I learned the story that it depicted, and loved it—how Raven urges humans into the world.  I’ve loved mythology and culture stories since Latin class in high school (probably before that), and the idea that we are our stories.  Again, my interest stayed in the background until, finally, my friend who instigated our group held a get-together at her home on some aspects of the culture.  Soon she, another mutual friend, and I decided we wanted to meet monthly and study further.  Now there are seven of us who've had the continuity of our ongoing study for several years.

Bill Reid's sculpture, "Raven and the First Men."

Pacific Northwest native culture groups have endured and are reviving because of the story and art traditions that hold their history and knowledge, their identity, and their contributions to humanity.  The contributions of this history and knowledge are valuable beyond their own culture both because they are currently alive and evolving, and because they can help all of us access ancient perennial knowledge about what it means to live as a human being not separated from the rest of the natural world (something that I feel is important to strive to understand in today’s global context). We hope our group’s focus on PNW native cultures, rather than trying to include broad cross-cultural material, helps us to gain a deeper experience and understanding than could come by having a wider focus. Additionally, many PNW groups experienced a much shorter period of interruption of their traditional culture than did most of the more southern groups that experienced the European invasions much earlier—providing more historical continuity for many of the cultural groups, and more first-hand rather than anthropological cultural sharing.  We do incorporate some material from other native culture-keepers (such as author Linda Hogan’s many books) and from anthropology.  Also psychology (such as Fred R. Gustafson’s book, Dancing Between Two Worlds).  Our study incorporates material from biological and natural sciences, as well. For me this study is a lens through which I can understand and appreciate more about humanity, human relations, and the beauty of living.

In addition to meeting monthly we have traveled together each summer, or alternate summers, in coastal Canada, Southeast Alaska, and coastal Washington State. Each trip is a culture-camp of some sort, in which we participate in native cultural activities or gatherings, meeting and sharing as much as possible with new or old friends in the cultures.  We usually spend several months preparing by reading and studying as many aspects of the place, history, activities, cultural values, arts, etc. from cultural perspectives as we can manage, and talking with people to find out how we can participate (and how to not be intrusive).  While we are traveling we continue our study experiences and discussions.  We have a blast!

We have participated in pole-raisings in Klawock and met with culture-keepers in Kasaan and Hydaburg on Prince of Wales (or “Taan”) Island, participated in Tribal Journeys canoe landings; visited tribal communities and culture centers; met with artists, poets, storytellers and other culture-keepers; and explored the ocean, rivers, and forests experiencing creatures, art, dance, and music. We've visited a few places on Vancouver Island and surrounding islands along Canada’s Inside Passage, places near Seattle, around Vancouver, BC, and in Ketchikan, Alaska.

One of approximately 100 canoes at Tribal Journeys Landing Day at Cowichan Bay,
Vancouver Island, B.C. Canada, July 2008.  

Last spring my friend, who coordinates our group, and I spent three weeks in Alaska. We stayed with a friend in Ketchikan for a couple of weeks, and the two of us took a Haida style cedar bark basket weaving class from Diane Douglas-Willard at the Totem Heritage Center. This was my first class in basket-weaving (although my brother said he thought that was my major in college!). The traditional learning process of “watch, listen, do” meant that the skill was not so much taught as demonstrated and experienced by fingers engaging with cedar to find how it can be woven into a basket. Learning the qualities of the material (often a struggle!), and laughing and sharing with the other weavers was as valuable as the skill and the product.  As the only beginner in the class, I learned from everyone. I figured I wove for at least 100 hours including in and out of class time; and I actually completed a rattle-top basket!  Keeping with the tradition of gifting one’s first basket, it now belongs to Lewis.  After the class, we took an overnight ferry to Juneau (my first visit there).  It was fabulous to see Mendenhall glacier, enjoy the town, and meet with a Tlingit elder (courtesy of my friend).

Elizabeth working on her cedar bark basket, March 26 to April 6, 2013.

Last August, our group traveled to Yuquot (Friendly Cove), a remote place on Nootka Island off the west of Vancouver Island.  Getting there is a journey in itself; we took the refurbished minesweeper Uchuck III, which delivers goods and passengers around the area, stopping at Yuquot twice a week.  This gave us a chance to stay a few days in the rustic camping cabins available.

Uchuck III at the Yoquot dock and the Welcome Figure facing the ocean, Fall, 2013.

Elizabeth in one of the Yoquot coves and gathering firewood, Fall, 2013.

Yuquot has a fascinating history with thousands of years of Nuu-chah-nulth (Mowachaht-Muchalaht) civilization and was the site of first Europen contact when Captain Cook’s ships landed in 1778.  It is still Mowachaht-Muchalaht land, where the people  camp and gather in the summer (and hold a one-day Summerfest, open to all).  On our final day there, we were welcomed to witness a traditional wedding.  As the website described. “It’s not just a place, it’s a feeling."  It truly is.

Our study group will go to Juneau this June to participate in “Celebration” a biennial gathering of Tlingit, Haida and Tsimshian people.  We’ll have a few days in the Haines area, also.  For the future, we hope to plan a trip up the Skeena river or Nass river area, out of Prince Rupert, Canada.  There are a number of areas in Alaska I’d like to get to sometime—Glacier Bay, Sitka, and Wrangell are a few.

We have been thinking of offering a forum sometime to share some of this work with others.  Stay tuned.  In the meantime, a couple of resources I can recommend are www.sealaslaheritage.org and the travel guide:  A Traveler's Guide to Aboriginal B.C. by Cheryl Coull (this is an older paperback, but still a useful introduction).

Travel is tough to fit in when raising a family and living on one income, and I don’t remember a lot of time for that earlier on as your daughter, Anne, was growing up, but I believe things have changed and now you have a number of trips planned.  Didn't you travel to the Rhine River recently?  What else is on the travel bucket list?

Since we met and married when we were a bit older, each of us had travel stories to share when we met. Lewis had motorcycled around Europe after buying a bike there, then cycled across the US (in three days!) after bringing it home by ship.  He’d explored in Southeast Asia, New Zealand and Australia, while stationed for a teaching semester in Singapore.  One of Elizabeth’s trips was a solo six-weeks of backpack-touring in Europe.  Then our focus did change to home, careers and family.

Our travel challenges while working and raising our daughter were mostly related to schedule.  Lewis’ teaching schedule and Anne’s breaks didn't always match up, and summers up to high school were all about swim team.  With ageing parents in three states, we often traveled to see family.  Luckily, they always lived in interesting and beautiful places (Phoenix, Seattle, Ojai, San Diego).  Looking back, we managed to fit in a surprising number of trips.  We must have grabbed every opportunity.  Once Lewis stopped teaching we went somewhere to enjoy nature, often meeting up with family or friends, during most of Anne’s school breaks.  Best trips were to Hawaii, Death Valley, the Grand Tetons and Yellowstone, Costa Rica, and annual fall weekends in Yosemite.

When Anne was very young, before her school and swim schedule, we continued camping trips, which the two of us had enjoyed since we met.  She was also a great young traveler as family reunions, visits to see relatives and friends, and plain old vacations took us to Idaho (Sun Valley), Mexico, England and Belgium, and the east coast (Connecticut, Cape May, New York, DC, Philadelphia).

More recently, our trips have been closer to home—up and down the beautiful west for family visits, funerals, weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, and taking Anne to and from college.

We tried a Rhine River cruise vacation last summer, since a trip to Europe was on Elizabeth’s mother’s bucket list.  It proved to be exactly what we’d hoped—a great way to travel together and see a lot without managing a lot of travel details.  We started with a couple of extra days in Lucerne, Switzerland and finished with four nights in Amsterdam.  Lewis managed just fine with the three women, and Mom was awestruck.   When we travel on our own, though, we prefer a looser schedule than the cruise gave us.

Visiting the Black Forest, three generations at the Kinderdjik windmills and enjoying Amsterdam, Summer, 2013.

Elizabeth had more trips than usual in the past year; experimenting with taking up opportunities that weren't possible while working—the trips to Alaska and Canada, plus helping as art-resource for a seminar in Maryland, in addition to our family trips. Each trip was fabulous, but that’s not a pace she wants to keep up.

We have no particular bucket list, but many possibilities we might consider.  We’re thinking of England to see a cousin and friends, Hawaii because it’s relaxing, and maybe Alaska together (northern lights?).  We enjoy our time at home and around the Bay Area as much as traveling.  There are some friends we haven’t seen in years who we hope to visit.  We expect to keep enjoying the flexibility to travel any time of year. We may go far-afield once in awhile, but generally expect our pace of travel won’t change much.

Although you may not think so, trust me:  you both made the transition from full time careers to retirement look somewhat effortless!  Do you think that was at least partially due to the deep outside interests you already had cultivated in other pursuits?   What advice do you have for those who are retiring soon and are healthy and young as you both are?

Yes, the option to retire meant we had the opportunity to give more attention to other passions, and this was certainly a big factor in the choice to retire and helpful in the transition. Lewis’ transition was more gradual because he did much work from his home office and transitioned to part time and full retirement in stages. By the time Elizabeth retired directly from full-time work, Lewis had largely paved the way.  But it’s also been helpful to understand that transition always brings unexpected challenges and to have the temperament, abilities and resources to weather change.  Besides pursuing that long list of interests, we want to be open to renewal and new possibilities, and to see what enters the unscheduled space that is created by retiring.

As many people note, some of the biggest challenges of retirement come from giving up the structure and discipline of a daily schedule, and the sense of meaning and purpose that paid work can give.  So, there are urges to quickly create a new schedule full of activities.  We feel some of that, but are learning to “go with the flow” and manage some feelings of “lostness”, privilege-guilt and questions of purpose as part of the transition.  We’re enjoying the openness of our schedule that allows for lingering over coffee and conversation, spontaneity for movies and hikes, and less-pressured attention to everything that needs doing (look how long it took us to send our blog!).  We’re listening to ourselves and each other as we follow and juggle our interests—enjoying the thrill of meeting changes and choices in a more free space. Sometimes we get serious about planning.  We talk to people, and we seek out support resources when needed—there are many!  A friend said that there’s a three-year initial adjustment to retirement, and as we begin year three of being retired together that feels right.  We’ll have it all figured out next year!

Is there anything else you’d like to chat about or share with us?

When we were asked to contribute to Lynn’s blog, it was hard to imagine anyone being interested in our stories (and perhaps no one is!).  But we also recognized how often reading stories of “everyday” lives of others has been affirming and encouraging for us, and we both appreciated how helpful the process of writing could be for ourselves—even though it is also excruciating.  It has been an illuminating process of reflection and sharing.  We recommend it!

So, what’s next for the Bremers?  And if readers have questions for you about your many interests, how would it be best to contact you?

We have some home-projects that we are putting into a plan for the year (while not completely filling our schedule!).  There is much clearing-out of accumulated stuff that we are moving up the priority list, and we’ll try to organize some of those digital and boxed photos.  Then, gardening.  We want to rework our landscaping for more enjoyment in it.  With those projects moving along, Elizabeth hopes to make more art, exploring and developing her artist-self (playing with photos, too!). Lewis‘ genealogy adventures may include a trip to Salt Lake City.

We’ll be celebrating our daughter’s graduation from Pitzer College this spring with her undergraduate degree in Environmental Analysis (Environment and Society). In the long-term she’d like to settle in the Bay Area so, as she continues her career explorations and path toward independence, she may move back with us, which we’ll all look forward to.

Otherwise, we’ll continue to enjoy as much as we can of nature and culture, together and with friends.  This includes travel to see places and people, reading, lingering, learning, and supporting causes of well-being.
We’d be happy to connect with people by e-mail (it’d be best to reference Lynn’s blog in the subject line):  LBremer4@aol.com.

Lewis and Elizabeth standing in Switzerland, France and Germany, Summer, 2013.

Thank you, Lewis and Elizabeth, for sharing so many wonderful stories, noteworthy projects and explorations.  I know it will be a challenge --- but a fun one --- to keep up with what you embark on next.  I hope you’ll continue to share with us all.  Readers:  I know that Lewis and Elizabeth are quite sincere in sharing any interests you might want to chat with them about. Please take them up on their offer to reach out, and hopefully we can also connect you together at future Ballou Plum events.  Happy Valentine’s Day!