Much has been written about the baby boomers and how we changed the notion of what working actually looks like. Thinking outside the box, questioning authority, having it all --- expressions born of a generation now entering retirement planning years. In many respects, Diana is the poster child of her generation. One of the most interesting parts of her story is how she crafted, of necessity, a non-traditional career path that matched her passions with her desire to raise a family and her need to earn income. I hope you will enjoy her story and find parallels that resonate with you.
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| Diana enjoying a break while biking along the Maine coast, August, 2013. |
Luckily, I inherited lots of energy from my Mom and Grandpa (her dad), and developed many interests so I am never bored; only wishing for more time (and a bit more money!) to pursue them all. Oddly enough, I don’t even mind housework, I just need more time to fit it in.
Before kids, beginning in the late 70’s I worked in high tech industries first when the office was called “Personnel,” eventually evolving into the field of Human Resources. I really enjoyed the field “back in the day” when the focus was on advocating for the employee yet protecting the best interests of the company too.
When we adopted our first son (in my mid-thirties and before the Family Leave Act), I took a leave of absence from a job that I truly valued. Staying home to care for my son was a special time but I was perplexed about how I would be returning to the work world. It was my first time as a parent and I recall feeling so unsure how the future would unfold. I had concerns many working moms struggle with: If I didn’t work, what would be the financial impact? Would I lose ground in the competitive work world should I want or need to return to employment? Had I worked diligently from the bottom up to become competent in my position just so could I walk away? Would staying home provide enough identity? I was conflicted, as I also wanted to be a hands-on Mom in the largest sense of the word. Since my husband and I had worked so hard to become parents, how could I miss this opportunity if I didn’t seize it to the fullest capacity? Just a few weeks into my leave while mulling all this over and caring for a newborn, my employer asked me what my plans were regarding my intent to return to my job? She needed an answer due to work pressures. At this time “creative/flexible” options weren’t as readily available as they are now but to my good fortune my boss, the same wonderful person that introduced me to you, offered me a chance to work part-time in the same position. It was an awesome opportunity and I was very grateful that I could remain employed at the same job I enjoyed but also have some time with my son (a BIG SHOUT OUT to Rena Snyder, my then boss, and featured in the April 24, 2013 Ballou Plum Blog).
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| Diana dropping son, Alec at school before work, 1995. |
While I seized and appreciated the initial opportunity to work part-time at my same level of position, things in the work place began to evolve more dramatically. Those of you in a corporate setting may recall the time when Personnel basically just involved itself in paperwork processing and administration, running applicant ads, basic interviewing, and adherence to simpler legal requirements. Then it evolved to embrace the concept of “Human” resourcing with an overlying consideration of workplace happiness, employer loyalty tied to job satisfaction, and became more complex. We had to navigate through a more complicated legal environment. There were mergers, acquisitions, benefit conversions, lay-offs, contemporary social issues and so on. Eventually, with cost-cutting, high tech options, and a large global market in all ways, many of the “human” aspects of Human Resources that I found to be meaningful became outsourced, shifted onto the backs of the managers, or devalued and tossed aside. During these corporate philosophical and economical changes, I had taken on more responsibilities in the work place and felt this pressure. My first son was growing and changing, and we had adopted a second son, so I felt the pull to be more available to our family. Ultimately, I became disenchanted with the big corporate experience and felt the imbalance between work and home was compromised such that I wasn’t contributing to my standards on either front. So, with the support of my wonderful husband, I decided to embrace motherhood 100%, take the plunge, and leave my job. It took me just a couple of weeks to get over the fact that I wasn’t accountable to any outside “validation” and be okay with this along with more strict budgeting. After a very short while, I loved my new life and did the typical Mom thing: Room mom, soccer mom, den mom, swim team mom, etc. etc. etc……
About six years later, my husband found himself laid off so it was time I helped pay for groceries again.
At this stage, I didn’t want to embrace the stress of corporate life nor commit to a full time job because of the subsequent impact to our home life, so I looked for something that would at least make a temporary contribution to our financial situation. I worked a couple of light gigs in retail and as a data entry temp. Then, one night in Safeway, I ran into a former member of a babysitting coop we both once belonged to and I inquired about her daughter’s job at a local whitewater rafting company she worked for. Well, the rest is history, as they say. That night, I received a call from the owner, saying they had been wishing for someone such as me to join their team. I was ecstatic as I had rafted as an early 20-something and had really loved it! I hadn’t been this excited about a job ever!!!
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| Diana "on the job" - Tuolumne River, August, 2011. |
I started as a part time reservationist and am now managing their reservation system from staffing and training to procedures and protocols. I partner with another manager who focuses more on the operation side and physical office. Together, we get it done. Rafting is a business that embraces what nature offers and is impacted enormously by outside elements (water levels, weather, economic times, coupon wars, and safety perception). I have rafted all but one of our many trips from mild to wild. One of my greatest personal achievements has been rafting Cherry Creek, Class V, the most difficult trip in North America. I’ve done it twice and reserve the bragging rights. We have an awesome guide staff that makes it seem easier than it really is. And, they will tell you, just “STAY IN THE BOAT” --- “STAY IN YOUR SEAT!”
While working for a small employer in a seasonal business doesn’t provide the same income or benefits that a corporate job does, it has provided me with a richer personal and ultimately professional experience. We do it all (running the business) from top to bottom. And, I get to dress down, ride my bike to work, and enjoy annual rafting trips. Inviting different friends to go with me has enriched these relationships as well….one of the magical elements of spending time on the river together!
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| Diana enjoying "Hole Surfing," July, 2013. |
Actually, my drive to be fit stemmed from an eating disorder in my late teens and throughout much of my 20’s. Exercising to burn calories became crucial as part of that mentality but became a good habit to keep. And, as someone once said to me, “You love large muscle work-outs!” The great feeling I get from swimming, biking, hiking, and moving to music is what keeps me interested. Definitely, adventurous outings in nature, such as skiing and rafting, make me feel great! Regrettably, the aches and pains and limitations we get as we age have slowed me down some. These days there is much room to get into better shape! It’s on the list!
Share some of your childhood memories and influences with us, Diana. Where did you get the drive and focus and sheer willpower you possess? (And can you package some of it for the rest of us, please?)
My family camped quite a bit growing up and I loved the out-of-doors activities this brought. We took car vacations and rented snow cabins…all of which I experienced as adventures. My Uncle Harold (Dad’s side now) took me canoeing on the Grand Canyon when I was 16 years old and I thought it was great! Being outside without many boundaries was and still is exhilarating to me. This spills into all the things I love to do. In regard to any drive outside of this, I have come to strongly believe that we are hard wired at birth and move from this inner template. So, I can’t really share any secret about willpower or focus other than to realize, we are our best when we come into ourselves through experience, acceptance, and putting ourselves into healthy environments, at home, work, and with friends. My experiences have led me to believe that we are usually motivated to move away from something painful or towards something that seems wonderful. In the middle, not much happens.
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| Camp Haslam, Oregon, 1996. |
Tim and I met at work. He was attractive, single, smart, but a bit shy. He came into my office a few times to ask some benefit questions and when he didn’t take my hints about getting together outside work, I dropped a piece of paper off my desk with my phone number on it and said, “Sometimes I’m not busy on the weekends and we live in the same community”. HINT HINT. He was bright enough to catch on….
Because I can be rather spirited (others might use a different adjective), I was drawn to his steadfastness, high values, clever sense of humor, and of course, to his excellent character. I think he might add that I have pulled him into activities he might not have otherwise tried such as dancing, kayaking, rafting, and skiing. Of course, I usually enjoy these things much more than he does….this is only fair as I haven’t learned to love research in the library as much as he does. You can read more about my wonderful husband, Tim, in the October, 2010 Ballou Plum Blog.
When did you decide to pursue adoption? What type of adoption process did you go through?
We were in our 30’s when we married and didn’t really plan on a family. Then, four years later, my sister gave birth to my niece, I fell in love with her, and we re-thought things. After a year of not conceiving naturally, we decided to pursue adoption. Prior to this we volunteered to “puppy raise” a couple of Labradors for Canine Companions, an organization that provides service dogs for the disabled. We knew going into this we would be saying good-bye to them a year later and that this would be emotionally tough. Letting them go but knowing that would be okay created a sensitivity to open adoption where a birth mom could have peace of mind about her decision to relinquish her child. We also thought it important that the kids would know they had been placed out of love with direct access to information about themselves. We had the good fortune to have two awesome birth experiences and we still maintain contact with these fabulous women and their extended families. Both boys have birth siblings and enjoy these relationships.
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| Alec, Tim, Diana and Austin, 1992. |
Adopting through open doors is an exercise in trust and not comfortable for everyone. If both parties are willing to embrace this relationship, it can set the stage early on for how later adoptive related issues might be dealt with. Both birth mothers and we agreed to seek counseling together if anything began to feel uncomfortable during our journey together. With the help of an adoption agency, we discussed many possibilities the future might bring and then just went for it trusting in one another. The women were putting their faith in us that we would care for their babies and us in them that we would raise them as we saw fit. The best way to describe their role in our lives is they are like caring aunts. They are available but never interfere. It’s been wonderful. We have such respect for them and will be forever grateful for their gift of parenthood to us. As for the boys, they have extra families that love them.
We have come to believe that children are genetically pre-disposed at birth. Each of our kids is very much like their birth families. So, whether children are reared by a birth family or adopted, at the basic level, they are who they are. No guarantees what path they will take, what gene pool embedding will surface, and sometimes love and good parenting just isn’t enough to overcome issues and challenges. But, as with most parents, we love our kids and do our best to provide an environment and morals to sustain them favorably in life. Motherhood has been the most incredible journey of my life.
You have always loved nature and planned incredible family trips that focus on appreciating and exploring the beauty especially of the western United States. Tell us about some of your more memorable vacations and what areas you would love to see again. Where would you still like to explore?
When the boys were young, we took a few car camping vacations up through Oregon and Washington, stopping at all things animals, and having a great time around the camp fire playing charades. While I would love to visit this gorgeous territory again, I would also enjoy visiting new areas. My husband and I went to Washington DC for the first time last year and loved it.
Our second date was a bike ride where I promptly ran into a curb and flipped heels-over-head flying over the handle bars onto a grassy median. Last year, about 33 years and 2,000 dates later, we road bikes through parts of Maine and re-captured some of our youth…It was awesome and we hope to do other similar trips. So, on to new sights and new adventures!
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| Diana and Tim on a ride through Acadia National Park, Maine, August, 2013. |
So, what’s next for you, Diana? What would you still like to accomplish both professionally and personally?
Seriously, I want longer days, longer years, more time, fewer wrinkles and achy joints….there are so many things I enjoy and I’m lucky to be happy doing most things. Before work yesterday, I gardened, polished my new kitchen floors, walked my dogs, got dinner started, made a to-do list for the evening, then went to my fabulous job. If I could have, I would have baked a banana cake, sewed some curtains for the kitchen, swam, called a friend, read the book club book, planned a holiday party…..and so on. I always manage to fill my time productively and with the many things I enjoy doing….yes, even house work. I love a clean house!
I don’t see much changing over the next five years although with Tim’s retirement pending, maybe less chores (he can do them!), more biking adventures, and more travel. We’ll be heading to Costa Rica next year; a big trip for us! Job wise, I imagine I might like working for the American Red Cross doing logistical planning and field work for disaster recovery….although I suspect it would be very stressful and thus, maybe not the best of choice for this stage of life…yet to be explored.
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| Diana and Tim ready to head out, Utah, 1983. |
I’m sure everyone reading this will want to contact you and sign up for a rafting adventure for the upcoming season! How can we reach you?
Okay, a commercial break here….. Anyone wanting to mix fun, exhilaration, some exercise and relaxation, go rafting! I can be reached at All-Outdoors California Whitewater Rafting http://www.aorafting.com (925) 932-8993, ext 164. We have mild to wild options. All trips are on sale, 25% off, through January 31, 2014!
What other thoughts would you like to share with us, Diana?
I feel EXTREMELY lucky to have a fabulous life. It’s so robust because I have friends and professionals such as you by my side along with amazingly supportive and caring family and relatives!!!
Thank you for listening and for caring enough to ask!!!! Anyone willing to read this “selfie” about me, thank you too!
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| Team Ballou Plum wishing Diana a great "milestone" birthday this November. |
